Release Date: Friday, September 28, 2007

Eat less and be more satisfied

I want to vent about fat women. I stopped out of town at a Chinese Buffet and looked around at about 100 people, probably half men and half women. Of the women, there was only one that I would have considered going out with, and she was sandwiched between fat men.

You can't hide all that fat with objects.

Weight is invariably a factor in physical attraction. But this man has boldly spelled out his distaste not just for fat (on women), but for the notion that it can somehow be compensated for or covered up!

When I recently told a male friend that a female friend (pretty, intelligent, caring, financially secure) was interested in him, he said, "I don't think so," and as he cleared his throat, "she's too heavy." Honest and matter-of-fact, but I could hear his awareness of broaching sexism.

Knowing he wouldn't measure his words, I asked my sweetie what he thought of my reader's e-mail. "The guy's spot on!" he said.

Granted, some men place more emphasis on clothes and jewelry and primping, but they may be even less inclined to go for somebody overweight. Ouch!

I can hear the objections now — "I don't live my life for men!" and "Like men aren't fat!" We could explore who has the bigger problem, but let's not.

A whopping 64.5 percent of adults in the United States are overweight; 30.5 percent are obese. If the bad news is that we are less attractive, the worse news is that we are less healthy. Obesity increases the risk of illness from about 30 serious medical conditions. And it is the second leading cause of preventable death in the U.S.

That's the good news — we can prevent it...And not because the opposite sex thinks we should, but because we want to. Let's face it: We want to.

Americans spend an estimated $35 billion a year on weight-loss products that offer no proof of effectiveness or safety. I won't venture a guess on what we spend to cover fat. We want to believe there's a painless way to thin.

My sister jokingly says, "I'll do anything to lose weight but stop eating." We laugh, but it's the truth for an alarming percentage of the population.

We don't eat simply to satisfy our hunger for food. We also eat as an escape or a source of pleasure — and sometimes we have too few other pleasures.

At a recent workshop, one woman realized she ate to exercise control over something. Her husband controlled everything else (or so it seemed).

And sadly, overeating can be fueled by a lack of self-worth. The cliche "I messed up today, I'll start my diet tomorrow" epitomizes how we feel about ourselves. The hope in a diet gives way to the internal sense of "I'm doomed."

It's convenient to order a No. 3 with a large soda (it also comes with a large fry). And then there's fine dining that titillates our senses with complex flavors and exquisite presentation. We don't want it to end.

We get caught. The more we feed our bodies, the more we feed our appetite, and the more it takes to satisfy it.

We need to find another "appetite" to feed. We need to find another source of satisfaction.

Yes, there is more to life than looking good for a man. And, yes, there is also more to life than eating.