You're invited — without your money

If you're wondering what to do, where to go and how much money to spend — maybe feeling stressed — I invite you to swing.

"I want a date with you," I told Sam. "Can you be at the swing in 30 minutes?" A swing hangs from a tree in the center of the meadow, which is our favorite place to spot deer — and re-center. Peace is always there for the taking.

If that sounds too fanciful, head to a patch of grass, the woods or the beach ... "To see a world in a grain of sand, And a heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand, And eternity in an hour," said William Blake.

When we forget what can be had without money, we tend to step back and let money do the work for us (with no money, we might withdraw or rebel, instead). Dinner and a movie, or tickets to "something" can become the norm. But being creative is, like nature, enlivening; it helps us connect with a bigger version of who we are.

Think outside the box and plan a date on a quilt with a picnic basket and read poetry, or take a thermos of hot chocolate out in the woods and roast marshmallows. Walk in the moonlight, dance on the sidewalk.

Leaving your money at home — or losing it, as the case may be — is an immediate equalizer. It's like everybody being stripped naked. Your watch, your car, your house are gone. And you have to stand on your own two feet.

Fortunately, though, you don't have to lose your money to test yourself. By simply relying on money less, you can find out what you're made of, which, by the way, can be remarkably gratifying. You can also find out what other people really like about you.

That's right: You can ask her to spend a day with you in the park and see if she's as impressed with your charm, wit, philosophy, humor and touch as she is with your money. In fact, smile — you can see if you're as impressed with you as you are with your money.

Money's always been a lousy way to keep score ... but when we get our hands on some, we can forget and need a reminder. Maybe that's reason enough for crisis. Whether it's triggered by the economy, health or a natural disaster, crisis offers us an opportunity to reassess our priorities.

Freud theorized that as long as things were going well, a man let his ego do all sorts of things, but when misfortune befell him, he heightened the demands of his conscience. This leads me to believe that the government (we, the people) bailed some corporations and their executives out too soon.

We don't have to follow bad examples, though, or only point to them, oblivious to our own choices. We can regroup at the swing ... and invite others to follow. Perhaps one day we'll even have a line — with no pushing or shoving.

I like that Freud also said, in his opening statement of "Civilization and Its Discontents," "It is impossible to escape the impression that people commonly use false standards of measurement — that they seek power, success and wealth for themselves and admire them in others, and that they underestimate what is of true value in life."

That's why it's so meaningful to reconnect with a bigger version of who you really are. When you're standing in awe at the foot of a waterfall, it's tough to inflate the value of a bank account (whether it's full or empty).

When you're looking into the eyes of a loved one, everything else disappears. Yes, I know, the disappearing act is temporary … but we can make it happen any time we want. And it sure helps to keep things in perspective.