Hi Jan,

Your column “You're to live life alone only if you want to be alone” struck a cord with me. One particular passage was dead on, “we are too lazy to find the right person and too lazy to be the right person.” That is me. I'm 46 and I've been divorced for 20+ years. I always assumed that I would remarry, start a family, and basically fit into a preconceived mold.

A funny thing happened while I waited for the next stage of my life to take shape. I returned to college, bought my first home at 37, and discovered the power of being 100% responsible for the future. Being on your own can be scary at times and has made me a stronger woman.

My years alone have made me lazy and selfish and I'm not sure it's all bad. I'm not opposed to marriage but I'm not going out of my way in search of it either. I value my solitude and honestly my last thought before I sleep and my first thought when I wake is “I'm glad it's just me.” And although I feel this way, I know that being alone and becoming comfortable with who I am has also helped me to be a better mate should I meet someone.

Thank you for sharing your column with me and inviting me to share with you.

Susan