Buck stops with you ...

Dear Jan,

Well said! I feel like I heard you loud and clear, but I had an epiphany a couple of years ago that had already led me to this conclusion. I wonder if I would have understood how your words applied to me, had I read this article prior to my "awakening." I don't know.

Perhaps you could follow this up with specific examples to demonstrate your point? Only for those of us who tend to be more thick-skulled...LOL!

This would be one from my own story: In my 15-year marriage, I am the neatnik and my husband is the slob. This has driven me crazy through the years! And as the kids came along (3), it only got worse until I had all but given up. It wasn't until after I subscribed to a home organization website (FlyLady.net) that I realized that I had more power over this situation than I thought.

I'm learning new techniques for keeping my home up so that I am happy (enough) with it, and, more importantly, I'm learning to write over that voice in my head telling me that if only (somebody else) would do what they're supposed to, then I would be happy. I've realized that that's the way my mother has lived her entire life — she's not happy unless she can complain about somebody — but her life is not my life. I can do it differently. That realization has been so liberating! No, I still do the lion's share of the housework, but I have a whole new attitude about it. My house is much more peaceful (and clean) now.

So thanks for spreading the word that we are responsible for our own happiness. We all need to hear it every now and then.

Houston Fan